hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
