I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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