Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
