she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
