just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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