I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
