found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize