I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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