hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
