She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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