He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sext me about skeletons
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
