I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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