Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
