There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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