At least make sure they are 18
Why
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize