wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This is my gift to your gina
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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