I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
