Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
