also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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