As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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