We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
