I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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