My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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