I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just want nice things and good sex
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
