well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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