VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
