Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
