We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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