So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
