Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
