she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
