when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
