It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
