I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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