Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just found puke in my bra..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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