When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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