the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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