Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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