Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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