the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize