Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
