I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
