maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize