at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
