I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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