Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
