he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
