I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
