I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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