I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
