Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
