you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
