yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
