instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
