WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
