All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
