So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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