How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
