ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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