Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
