If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
